Sometimes I think if my mom weren’t around life would be easier. It wouldn’t be; I still be the same person. I’m proud of the person I have become. This is because of her, not in spite of her. I have revised this blog post because I have come to realize the importance of the relationship with my mother on my life. It has carved my path. It has made me strong. We need to learn to rise above the pain left by our absent Mother’s. This week I struggled with the thought of sending her a card. My good intents are for me, they help me heal. I'll send a card. I’ll send positive thoughts and energy, and LOVE.
Self care is important for your mental well being when working through this abandonment. When I say self care this is not just the act of getting your hair done, taking a bath, or going shopping. This is the deeper act of working through your residual feelings. Make the therapist appointment, journal the pain, experience the feelings and process. To heal you need to process what is inside. Please do not try doing this alone without the guidance of a professional.
Find yourself a support network. This can be a friend who understands what you are going through. Pick up the phone and call that person. Often I hear, this is too much for my friend to bear. Let your friend decide what they can and can not bear. You are not responsible for their well being too. As a listening friend I appreciate being available to my friend in need.
I have included a link to a CNN article that really speaks to what happens with many moms. I hope it help. Please comment and help the dialogue with other children like you.
lead to me gaining 10 pounds of that weight over 4 months time. I’m at a point were I am most unhappy
we were supported by food banks for a period of time when I was in my early teens. In those teen years there were times I went hungry. I now fear deprivation.
What is forgotten in that mix are the victims of sexual abuse, not only by the Church but by other predators in their lives.
How do you get to your motivators? When we struggle with change their are reasons. You need to work with a team who can help you. This can be your doctor, a counselor, or a supportive friend.
Healing does not happen alone. For many recovering addicts, trauma survivors, the terminally ill, or the bereaved, support groups have been proven to empower and support participants. Rather than trying to make it alone, participants are surrounded by a community of people experiencing similar dilemmas, seeking answers to similar questions, and trying to live life in the pursuit of wholeness and joy.
Consider this thought, if we help those who could do the task by themselves, aren’t we actually depriving them from the ability to learn they can persevere?
…I help women who are the survivors of sexual abuse. It is hard work for all involved.
…it is important to break the stigma of mental illness. Depression, anxiety, ADD, OCD are just some of the few mental illnesses so many people suffer with, suffering is not necessary.
…each day she showed her true colors, and she began to steal from my biological father and I. My lowered expectations definitely protected me.
“ One day it just clicks. You realize what’s important and what isn’t. You learn to care less about what other people think of you and more about what you think of yourself. You realize how far you’ve come and you remember when you thought things were such a mess they you would never recover. And you smile. You smile because you are truly proud of yourself and the person you’ve fought to become.”